


Art of Music

by onlyhoseok



Series: What Love Taught Us [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Muteness, References to Depression, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-29 02:43:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14463276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyhoseok/pseuds/onlyhoseok
Summary: "You know, at this point, I don't think you're even trying to make an effort to be friends with me."Changkyun's eyes widen at the sudden outburst from the older as he stared at him, who's looking at the younger with a fiery glare."If you want me to stop bothering you then why won't you just say so? I don't go around trying to make friends when the feelings just one-sided. Hell, I've never tried this hard just to be friends with someone! You're the only one— you know what? Just forget it."Changkyun started to panic when the older stood up to leave, so he got on his feet and gripped the older's wrist, preventing him from leaving. Hyungwon only laughed bitterly before pushing the poor boy away."Forget it, Changkyun. Goodbye."ORHyungwon is an art student whose only inspiration to draw is music but barely speak due to an incident that happened years ago whereas Changkyun is a music student who expresses his feelings through music as he's unable to talk





	1. Chapter 1

**_Look at me when I'm talking to you,_** **_y_ ** **_ou looking at me but I'm looking through you_ **

 

The tip of the brush stroked lightly on the canvas, leaving a small trail of black paint as it moves.

__

_**I see the blood in your eyes,** _ _**I see the love in disguise** _

 

He paused, closing his eyelids for a second as he took a deep breath, before opening them again to continue his painting.

 

_**I see the pain hidden in your pride, I see you're not satisfied** _

 

His hand stopped moving for a mere second, unable to move as the lyrics replayed itself in his brain.

 

_**And I don't see nobody else, I see myself, I'm looking at the..** _

 

 

He let out a frustrated groan as he placed the paintbrush down, standing up immediately after. He walked towards the music player, attempting to turn the music off when he accidentally stepped on what seems like a broken pencil.

He hissed, cursing himself for forgetting to throw it away. And just as he looked up, he was face to face with himself — the mirror.

 

 _**Mirror on the wall, here we are again** _  
_**Through my rise and fall, you've been my only friend** _

_**You told me that they can understand the man I am** _  
_**So why are we here talking to each other again** _

 

It would be a coincidence, if he would admit. But all he could think of was how it was all somehow planned, the cruelty of the world which had been testing him since the day he stepped out on this earth. The hardships that he faced since young, the unfair comparisons between others and himself — it was all he could think of.

However, the sound of the door opening broke him from his trance, though, reminding himself that he's still standing in front of the mirror, staring into his own orbs.

"Hyungwon?" the familiar voice called out. "You okay?"

Hyungwon took one more second staring at himself, gritting his teeth together before turning away from his own reflection, turning off the music.

"Yeah, was just painting."

Kihyun sighed as he stared at his taller friend, knowing he was only stating the truth, partially. "It's almost 9 am and we have class at 10, so go and get ready."

Hyungwon nodded, humming too, in case if the latter didn't catch the movement of the taller boy's head.

"And you didn't stay up all night painting, did you?" Kihyun asked, eyes glued to the new pieces of artwork beside the table.

Hyungwon only shut his lips together as he looked at the shorter, smiling slightly — a smile which shows no emotions.

"I had an hour of sleep. Couldn't sleep much after that," he shrugged before grabbing his towel. "And before you say anything, I did tried my best to sleep but I just couldn't."

And with that, he left Kihyun by the doorway alone, walking towards the toilet in Minhyuk's room. He sighed, knowing nothing could change the boy's behaviours and habits he start to develop not too long ago. Remembering about the reason why made his blood boil.

He stepped into the room and examine the new pieces of artworks on the floor. They were beautiful, just like all of Hyungwon's other works — drawings filled with hidden meanings that only he, or few other more knows. Though, only one of his new paintings caught his attention. In fact, it wasn't even a finished one.

The sides of his lips curved downwards as he stared at the painting, perfectly yet imperfectly drawn, colors not blending in well yet still able to tell what it is. And just by thinking what the meaning might be clenched Kihyun's heart.

 

 

A broken mirror.

 

 

 

 

 

Three weeks.

It took Hyungwon three weeks to finish the artwork — the painting of the broken mirror. The reason was because he couldn't bring himself to look at the unfinished painting ever since the day he started it. The lyrics kept replaying in his head, self doubt overwhelming him. It was until three weeks later, he stumbled upon the painting when he was about to make a new one. With hesitance, he continued it, without listening to the song this time.

But it was also within those three weeks that he lost his inspiration to draw. He tried listening to different genre of songs — both with and without lyrics. Sometimes almost begging his roommate to make a song for him just so he can draw, but nothing seemed to work. Everything was pointless. 

He couldn't draw without inspiration. He couldn't draw without music.

 

As the tip of the brush hover over the empty canvas, his hand refused to move any further, stopping it from its track. Hyungwon could only stare mercilessly at the canvas with thoughts in his mind. 

There's so many things he could draw; yet there's _nothing_ he could draw.

He thought maybe just a little push would make him start, but little did he know with a little push, he'd remember about the bitter memories — all of them.

 

_No._

 

_Go away._

 

_Please._

 

 

 

 

The piercing noise coming from the pink haired's phone brought him back to reality. He cursed as he slapped himself, letting the tears flow freely down his cheeks. The continuous sound coming from his phone reminded him that he received a call. With a shake of his head, he wiped the fallen tears and picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

"Hm?"

"Hyungwon! Where are you? Don't you have class in 10 minutes? I can't seem to see you anywhere."

Hyungwon furrowed his brows as he turned to look at the clock on the wall, before widening his eyes. "Shit, I'll be there in 5, or latest before class starts."

And with that, he ended the call (even though he clearly noticed that Kihyun was still talking in the other line). Truth be told, he could barely bother attending the class. After all, he couldn't draw anymore and still haven't started on his assignment which was supposed to be handed in a week later, and today will be their consultation.

With a sigh, he got himself up and quickly grab his things and all necessary stuff before exiting the house, locking it just before he ran to school. Uni wasn't that far from his shared apartment so he still had five minutes to spare (or an hour and a half if he decided to skip the class). And so, he hesitantly entered the building.

The hallway was unsurprisingly vacant, too eerie and quiet that only his footsteps could be heard. Though, it was normal for Hyungwon. Except, the only thing that wasn't normal was hearing his red head roommate's voice just at the other side of the hallway.

Out of curiosity, he peaked the corner of the walls to be surprised with the sight of his two friends leaning against the wall, talking to two strangers. It didn't take long for one of the two strangers to notice Hyungwon staring at the four of them.

"Hello?"

Kihyun and Minhyuk turned around to see Hyungwon looking at them questioningly.

"Hyungwon! You actually came!" Minhyuk beamed as he pulled the taller towards the group. "I'm gonna skip class and you're gonna skip with me."

_Thank you._

_But who are they?_

The questioning look plastered on Hyungwon's face was easily read by Minhyuk as he smile. "Meet our new friends, Jooheon and Changkyun!"

Hyungwon turned at the two to see a boy smiling at him widely, dimples showing on both sides of his cheeks — Jooheon was his name. Whereas the one beside him was sitting quietly on the floor with his hood over his head, eyes on the floor. Jooheon nudges the other boy which made him look at Hyungwon, and gave a small smile towards him for less than a second before looking back at the floor.

"He doesn't really talk that much in front of strangers or people he just met," Kihyun said as he pat Hyungwon's shoulder. "Just like Changkyun."

Jooheon's smile faltered for a mere second but he quickly replaced it with a bigger one (probably fake), before nodding. "We were just talking about Changkyun's music, do you wanna hear it?"

Hyungwon raised a brow at the sudden question, taken aback for a second as he hadn't really listened to any music for the past couple of days.

"Your friends told me your only inspiration to draw is through music, and since Changkyun and I are music major students, maybe we can help?"

Though he was mad at his friends for talking about him behind his back, Hyungwon smiled at the friendly gesture, but shook his head.

"It's okay."

Changkyun's head whipped up to look at Hyungwon as they made eye contact for the first time, but it didn't last long as the black haired looked away almost immediately.

"You sure, dude?"

"Yeah, I have to go. I have class, remember?"

Minhyuk looked at his friend weirdly before pouting. "In that case, I'll get to class too. See you guys soon!"

Hyungwon knew so well he wanted to stay and listen to the boys' music, hoping that maybe he'll get inspiration again. But he concluded that music isn't his inspiration anymore.

He wouldn't tell his friends about this, obviously. The worry coming from them would be worse than world war three. So, he decided to stay quiet about it and maybe, find a new inspiration while doing so.

 

But maybe, just maybe, he'll try and listen to Changkyun's music once.

 

 

 

 

 

Days passed and Hyungwon and his two friends became closer to the two friends — especially Jooheon. Changkyun often dismissed himself whenever the group comes up to him and stay solitary until Jooheon returns, at least that's what Jooheon told them.

Though, after all this time, there hasn't been once where Hyungwon heard the boy speak. Not even a stutter. To say he was curious how he sounded like was an understatement. He then wondered if he was in the same situation as Hyungwon — refused to talk to strangers after a tragic trauma.

And because of that thought, he shrugged and believed that was the reason.

However, Jooheon has never forced his best friend to stay with the group. Instead, he let him leave whenever he want. He doesn't even need to tell the older, just a tap on the shoulder and Jooheon will understand it immediately.

It will be a lie if Hyungwon said the youngest boy among them didn't catch his attention, because he did.

Hyungwon was not only curious about the boy, but also interested to know about him. Which may be the reason as to why he followed Changkyun all the way to an empty studio without the latter noticing. 

It may sound creepy, but it was his only way to get closer to the boy. Jooheon didn't wanna tell where the latter always goes and pretended he didn't know.

_If only he knew how bad he is at lying._

Through the small opening of the door revealed Changkyun sitting on the floor, switching on his laptop and plugged in the speaker's plug into it. And with a sharp click on the key, music starts playing through the loud speakers.

There weren't any lyrics but it was relaxing. It was Blues, Hyungwon noticed. Except, he couldn't exactly point a finger to the specific type of genre. It felt as if a mixture of different types of Blues, which definitely sounded unique.

Besides unique, Hyungwon seemed to _understand_ the song. Despite having no lyrics, the instruments used and the different chords combined seemed to have a meaning behind it; and Hyungwon understood it completely.

Changkyun is relaxed, though full of emotions. However, he felt relaxed at this specific moment where his other thoughts are pushed away — that was the meaning Hyungwon gathered from the music.

And for the first time in weeks, he finally felt the familiar feeling again.

Inspiration.

And Hyungwon never have felt happier.

 

 

 

"So you always ditched us to stay here alone, listening to your self-composed songs?"

Changkyun jumped as his eyes widen when he saw Hyungwon walking in the room. He quickly stopped the song and was about to unplugged the plug until the older spoke again.

"It's okay, you can keep it on. I like it."

However, Changkyun bit his lip hesitantly, before completely unplugging it from his laptop. Hyungwon frowned at the action as he moved to sit in front of the boy.

"Sorry to scare you. I heard music coming from here and was a little surprised to see you. Jooheon weren't lying when he said you were good at making music."

Changkyun gave a smile — a smile that didn't even reach his eyes, not even attempting to make eye contact with the older. Hyungwon examined the boy a little longer, before he spoke up again.

"You know, you remind me of myself sometimes. How you always stay solitary even though your friend introduced you to new people, refusing to talk to them."

Changkyun only stared at the woodem floor, nodding slowly. Clearly, he felt uncomfortable and Hyungwom felt guilty.

"I'll go if it makes you uncomfortable with me being around. Keep doing the great work, by the way."

Hyungwon gave the younger a big smile and two thumbs up before exiting the studio, shutting the doors as he left. Changkyun, eyes still on the floor, starts to ponder. With a shaky breath, he closed his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

_Will I be able to talk again?_


	2. Chapter 2

_Rain._

_Sun._

_And a lost boy._

 

Hyungwon leaned back as he examined his artwork. His eyes searched for anything that can be improvised but for the very first time, he was satisfied with his work. The rainstorm on one side of the canvas whereas the other side was bright, under the painted sun. And in the middle, there was a boy holding an umbrella, covering himself from the sun but not from the rain.

 _Concealing oneself from the light when it's given and instead, exposing them to the dark,_ the meaning behind the painting.

It was, in fact, inspired by Changkyun's self-composed music — or perhaps the boy himself. Changkyun was obviously facing problems, but it looks like he loves to drown in them alone, which explains the painting. Running away from new friends and instead, cover himself in his dark thoughts; or maybe these are just mistaken facts and Hyungwon was just being judgmental.

He heard a knock on the door before it slowly open. "Painting, huh?"

Hyungwon hummed in response before seeing the owner of the voice jumping himself on Hyungwon's bed. "How many did you make?"

"Two."

"Where's the other one?"

Hyungwom stretched to the side of the table to grab the painting he did hours before he started on the newly finished painting. It was, also, inspired by Changkyun and in fact has the same meaning with the newly painted artwork, just different styles. It showed a picture of a boy hiding his behind a broken mask with a sour expression whereas a positive expression was painted on the mask.

"Let me guess, it's about facade?" Minhyuk asks, leaning back onto the soft pillow.

"Yeah."

The older was quiet after that. No sounds were made until minutes later where he sighed loudly. Hyungwon turned to him and raise a brow questioningly, knowing that the older won't be able to see his face.

"You know, you used to always draw something cute or fun — but now it's purely depressing with deep messages behind them," Minhyuk ranted, making the younger's smile fade. "Listen, Won, I'm not judging you. I know it's your choice to paint whatever you want but can you, I don't know, maybe paint something cute one day? I missed seeing those."

Hyungwon's slight smile faltered as he looks away from the older, realizing that he was in fact, right. It wasn't as if he never had thought of painting something cute. He did, a lot of times, it was just that he couldn't do it anymore. He prefer to paint something real and not something fake.

Minhyuk noticed the frown on the older's face as he copied the expression. Sitting up straight, he said, "Hey, Won. You know what, you don't have to draw cute ones if there's no meanings behind it. Besides, you only draw if there's only inspiration for you to do so. So tell me, what song made you draw these?"

Hyungwon smiled at how understanding his same aged friend was, before letting the question sink in. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again when nothing came out of it.

"Won?"

"I... I don't know."

Minhyuk looked at the taller curiously as he straightened himself up on the bed. "What do you mean you don't know? It wasn't a song that inspired you?"

Hyungwon thought for a while. "Well, yes. But at the same time, not really?"

Now, Minhyuk is fully facing the taller boy, curiosity playing around his mind. And for a second, Minhyuk thought of something which both frighten but excite him at the same time.

And to confirm his thought, he asked, "Were they, perhaps, inspired by... _someone_?"

Hyungwon felt heat rushed up to his cheeks, and it shocked him so he turned away from Minhyuk so the older couldn't see his face. He was contemplating whether to answer it truthfully, or hide it with a stupid lie. But Minhyuk had always been there through thick and thin and maybe telling him about this wouldn't hurt.

"Yes."

When he turned back around to face the older, he was met by half smile Minhyuk who has both the looks of worry and excitement plastered in his face. "Do you mind telling who this person is?"

Hyungwon hesitated for a second but answered, "Changkyun."

The worry which was present in Minhyuk's expression completely disappeared as a look of happiness and shock were replaced. "Changkyun? As in Jooheon's friend Changkyun? Our new friend Changkyun?"

Hyungwon shyly nodded as placed a nee canvas on the board.

"No way! You talked to him once? Or did you paint these based on what you think of him? Nonetheless, that was so unexpected."

"Kinda? I mean I followed him to an empty studio the other day and he played his self composed music and I really liked it because it was so unique. Then I suddenly had this inspiration from it."

"Finally you've heard his music! It's amazing, isn't it?" Minhyuk pause to see Hyungwon nodding along. "There wasn't any lyrics but the instrumental itself is already amazing. But, out of curiosity, what made you paint these depressing paintings based on his songs or just him in general?"

"I... understand the song. Like, I understand the message behind the song — the message he wanted to share through music. I don't know if they make sense but..."

Minhyuk realizes how different Hyungwon was. Sure he know his taller friend was a unique guy, but he had never saw this side of him. Maybe there are a few more sides his friend has yet to show.

 

 

In the meantime, he had something to tell Kihyun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Few weeks gone by in a blink and they were all filled with Hyungwon trying to get closer to Changkyun. It took the younger a while to get comfortable with the older's presence and when he is, he really wished the older would stay with him a little longer.

With the older's encouragement, he managed to be part of the group and Jooheon had never felt happier. Sure it was just once in awhile but it was still a big improvement.

Hyungwon also drew more paintings inspired by Changkyun and his music, and all of them were slowly becoming less depressing and happier ones. Hyungwon never would've thought he would start painting fully grown and healthy flowers or a clear sky ever again , but there he was coloring the canvas with bright pink and blue.

Though, there was one thing that he couldn't seem to understand about the younger.

The two of them had grown closer but the younger still haven't spoke a single word to the older. Hyungwon felt rejected everytime he didn't received an answer from the younger, but he always assured himself that Changkyun was still shy with his presence. But it had been weeks and Changkyun evidently tried to be closer to the older everytime he saw him.

 

 

 

Hyungwon sighed as he watched Changkyun pressed a few keys on the keyboard. It caught Changkyun's attention as he turn around to look at the older questioningly for a mere second, before staring at his monitor again.

"How long do you usually finish a song?"

Changkyun only shrugged as his eyes never left the screen. It angered the older seeing how the younger never made much effort to keep the conversation going. Hyungwon started to think that maybe the younger didn't wanna be closer to him in the first place, and everything was just a waste of time. The longer he watched the younger, the more frustrating thoughts come up in his mind.

 

 

"You know, at this point, I don't think you're even trying to make an effort to be friends with me."

Changkyun's eyes widen at the sudden outburst from the older as he stared at him, who's looking at the younger with a fiery glare.

"If you want me to stop bothering you then why won't you just say so? I don't go around trying to make friends when the feelings just one-sided. Hell, I've never tried this hard just to be friends with someone! You're the only one— you know what? Just forget it."

Changkyun started to panic when the older stood up to leave, so he got on his feet and gripped the older's wrist, preventing him from leaving. Hyungwon only laughed bitterly before pushing the poor boy away.

"Forget it, Changkyun. Goodbye."

Changkyun could feel his heart breaking as the older made his way to the door. Hyungwon was his only friend beside Jooheon. Kihyun and Minhyuk too except they're not exactly close unlike the other two. Changkyun suddenly regretted not telling the older about his problems, but he couldn't think of a way to do so. And all he managed to do right now was stare at the latter's retreating figure as his heart slowly broke pieces by pieces.

Little did he know, Hyungwon was a little disappointed the other didn't attempt to stop him after he slightly pushed him, or chased after him after he exited the room. Little did he know Hyungwon stayed outside the studio, waiting for something to happen but little did Hyungwon know, Changkyun was crying mercilessly on the floor in the studio.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ever since that day, Changkyun seemed to have disappeared. Jooheon now walked alone in school and Changkyun was nowhere to be seen. Jooheon also seemed to have grown distant with the three of them, especially Hyungwon. He would always make up excuses everytime Minhyuk or Kihyun asked to hang out. Hyunwon also noticed the dirty looks the younger had been giving him. He thought maybe the younger told him something, but he didn't wanna make assumption as much as he doubt the younger didn't.

If he told himself he wasn't worried about Changkyun, it would be a complete lie. He knew he might've taken things too far and assume things too quickly, but he was still so sure the younger didn't wanna be friends with him. But he wouldn't be so heartless to not even care about someone he was comfortable with despite the one sided feeling.

It was then Hyungwon waited for Kihyun and Minhyuk to leave so he could have a word with Jooheon.

 

 

"Hey, Jooheon. Can I ask you something?"

Despite the look he was giving the older, he answered, "What is it?"

"Is Changkyun okay? I haven't seen him in school for days."

Jooheon glared at the older as he straightened himself. "He's perfectly fine without you."

Hyungwon was about to ask what he meant but Jooheon groan in frustration before he could do so.

"Of course he isn't okay, you idiot! Why did you push him away, huh?! He was clearly so comfortable with you!"

"He told you."

"Yes he did, he told me everything. How could you, Hyungwon? How could you be so heartless?"

"Me? You're blaming it on me?! I tried my best to be friends with him, to get closer to him but he didn't seem to make an effort to strengthen our relationship! He couldn't even keep up a conversation so how could you blame it on me?! It wasn't my fault!"

Jooheon scoffed as he watched Hyungwon turned around, attempting to walk away. "I promised Changkyun to never say this to anyone, but you've crossed the line."

Hyungwon ignored the latter and proceeded to walk. But the next few words that came out of his mouth stopped him in his track.

 

 

 

 

"Changkyun can't talk, Hyungwon. He's mute."

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this chapter !! im kinda sad that this is just a short story but i hope its interesting ! :))


	3. Chapter 3

"Changkyun!"

 

The moment Changkyun heard his name being called by the lanky man, he quickly dashed in between the crowd forming in the hallway. Due to the lack of space, Hyungwon lost the boy and couldn't help but curse himself for the thousandth time.

It was Changkyun's first day of school after having a few weeks hiatus. Surely by now he could've gotten expelled for skipping school but Hyungwon was glad he was still here except that the younger didn't want to face him at all.

Hyungwon could not get rid of the heavy weight on his chest after his conversation with Jooheon weeks ago. He could not text Changkyun either because he did not saved his number and Jooheon refused to give it to the lanky boy. The only way he could talk to the younger was face to face, alone.

Regret washed over him ever since the day he found out Changkyun was mute. He couldn't sleep for several nights, worrying about the latter constantly. It aches him not being able to see the younger who he felt comfortable with. Of course he had to mess it up, it's always him.

 

 

_Isn't it better if I had gone away years ago?_

 

 

Hyungwon never once gave up trying to apologize to the black haired, only to be left alone looking pathetic with no one around him. All of his attempts failed and despite the hesitation he had, he knew it was better to end their ties right there and then. Changkyun didn't want to see the older anymore so it's only fair if Hyungwon respected his decision.

And here he is again, in his room, playing songs and painting depressive art. Tears pricked his eyes, threatening to fall down his soft cheeks, as he listened to every word of the song while staring at the painting he just created.

 

 

_Him._

 

 

Never would've Hyungwon thought his hand had a mind of its own, managing to paint out the boy he broke, smiling widely as if nothing's bothering him. The smile he have yet to see these few weeks, the smile he stole away from the poor boy only to be replaced with a grimace. With the detailed features of the young boy smiling so innocently, Hyungwon felt his heart drop. He wanted to see this smile again, forever if he could.

 

Later that night, he found himself awake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep despite the cold air hitting him and the darkness that engulfed him. His half lidded eyes stared at the painting he drew hours ago, before closing momentarily to remember what it feels like being able to see it once or twice, but never again.

 

The warm tears fell down his cheeks as he grit his teeth, cursing himself to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey," the small voice called by the doorway. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Hyungwon ignored the voice and continued with his artwork. He heard the faint sigh behind him followed by the sound of the door closing. Hyungwon paused what he was doing, placing the brush down, and looked away from the canvas.

Distancing himself from his friends wasn't a good idea, especially after losing one. But he couldn't bring himself to even talk to anyone.

He hesitantly looked back up at what he was painting and once again, he fould himself helplessly crying in front of the unfinished artwork — a wilting flower losing its color.

 

A wilting flower that is too young to die.

 

 

 

 

 

_Fingers intertwined as they walk together down the streets. Entering several shops but bought nothing. They ended up in a pastel flower shop, selling beautiful potted plants of course. The bright colors of sunflowers and daisies, the crimson red of the roses; the scent of flowers combined smelled like heaven and the colors of the shop along with the flowers potray positivity._

_Despite being unenthusiastic with the sight and scent, he still found himself smiling looking at the boy beside him, enjoying everything in the store. Hyungwon's heart fluttered when he saw the shorter pout after seeing the price tag._

_"Everything's so expensive and I'm broke."_

_Hyungwon chuckled at his boyfriend's words, bringing him closer to the lanky boy as he wrapped his arm around the shorter's shoulder. With another glance at the price tag of the rose the blonde haired wanted to buy, he sighed before exiting the store._

_Just outside, Hyungwon spotted a wilted flower beside the entrance. Hyungwon was confused as to why it was placed there but the thought was shrugged off when his boyfriend tapped him by the shoulder, gaining his attention._

_"Let's go home, it's getting late."_

_Hyungwon nodded, locking eyes with the shorter before looking back at the dying plant. "Look at that," he pointed. "That's just like my life. Wilted, dying."_

_Despite being a joke, the blonde haired seemed to take it a little too seriously and frowned when the lanky boy said those words. He stopped the boy in the middle of the streets where they made sure there were lesser people passing by and locked eyes with him._

_"Hyungwon, please, I know your life will turn out great. It's not dying, okay? We still have a lot of time left and there are a lot of things we have yet to discover. I may not be a huge impact in your life but I assure you, your life will be as colorful as ever."_

_Hyungwon smiled softly after hearing those words as he brought the older closer to him, embracing him into a tight hug._

 

_"Thank you, Hoseok."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love.

 

How does one simple word hold such complicated and several meanings?

Love can be platonic but also romantic. Love can be towards blood related people but also unrelated ones. Love is powerful, but why is it so hard to understand?

Love makes one give up but also makes one try. Love can make one happy but also make one sad. Love can change a person either negatively or positively.

 

"Love..." Hyungwon whispered to himself as he found himself staring at the painting he drew days ago.

He hasn't held the brush for a few days and stayed in bed, feeling like a depressing mess. His mind will always drift away from reality and towards the familiar boy who's now a complete stranger to him. They now no longer acknowledge each other neither passed each other. It was as if their presence didn't bother each other.

But it did bother Hyungwon.

Hyungwon missed the younger boy. He missed being in comfortable silence with him. He missed seeing the different expression the latter would make at Hyungwon's comments.

Being mute was a sensitive topic so Hyungwon understood why the younger backed away from him. But the lanky boy also knew Changkyun was facing other issues and he isn't helping the younger to get any better.

 

 

 

 **_I know it's not the same_ **  
**_But I feel it any way_ **  
**_Tell me if that's okay_ **

 

 

 

The lyrics played as the next song came on shuffle, catching Hyungwon's attention. Though, eyes never leaving the artpiece.

 

 

 

 _**No, I'll be on my way** _  
_**Should've known, now I feel insane**_  
_**Am I insane?** _

_**I've waited way too long** _  
_**Yeah, I know you've changed**_  
_**You have a different face to me** _  
_**I guess that I was wrong** _  
_**I'm the one to blame** _  
_**And that's a shame, you see** _

 

 

 _I'm sorry_.

 

Hyungwon shut his eyes as he took a deep breath, listening to the words coming from the song.

 

 

 _**You're in my head** _  
_**And I keep on forgettin'** _  
_**You're here instead** _  
_**And it seems never ending** _  
_**I know, I know you've changed** _  
_**You don't feel the same** _  
_**You're in my head** _

 

 

 

Hyungwon surprised himself when he felt tears streaming down his face despite it happening a lot recently. He hated how much he relates to the song and he hated how he's staring right at the painted boy on the canvas in front of him. He hated how much he's feeling towards the younger boy. He hated how the younger made him felt.

No one had ever made him like this ever since he broke up with his first love, Hoseok. He had never missed anyone as much as he misses Changkyun, and he knows it was more than just missing a friend.

With a heavy sigh, he stood up from his bed and put on his dark green hoodie and gray sweatpants before walking out of the house to have a walk at 2 in the morning, not forgetting to bring his wallet and phone along.

He walked on the silent streets and passed several alleyways where teens and youths hang out with cigarettes in hand and loud laughters, holding their bottle of beers. Hyungwon noticed how everyone in each alleys would stop to look at Hyungwon out of curiosity. It was until he passed one particular alleyway which made him stop in his tracks, eyes widening.

 

 

"Hyungwon?"

 

 

He shut his eyes tightly, attempting to walk away when the familiar voice calls him for the second time.

"Hyungwon, it's just me, Hoseok."

The voice said ever so careful which made Hyungwon turn to look at his ex boyfriend smiling slightly at the sight of him. He noticed how the taller didn't utter a single word and only looked at the boy in front of him. It was until his eyes landed on two people behind him, widening his eyes for the second time. Hoseok noticed the expression the taller was giving and turned around, finally realizing what Hyungwon had been staring at.

"Yeah about that--"

"Minhyuk? Kihyun?" Hyungwon called out the other two loudly, making then turn their heads in surprise, smiles fading as bottles fell from their tight hold.

Walking passed Hoseok and towards the group of friends, ignoring the sigh coming from behind him. With an unbelievable look plastered on Hyungwon's face, he walked towards his two housemates who he thought were in bed.

"You were hanging out with Hoseok the entire time?"

"No, no! This is our first time-- we were with Jooheon."

"Jooheon's friends with Hoseok?"

Before any of his two friends could reply, he saw Jooheon walking out of the door by the wall, surprised with the sight of Hyungwon's presence. He stopped on his tracks as his eyes glued on each other. He was about to go back in when another boy walks out from the door.

The boy who had been in Hyungwon's mind for these few weeks.

 

 

Im Changkyun.

 

 

Eyes widening in surprise as both of them locked eyes with each other, he quickly turned around, forgetting about his friends and ex being there together, and walk away from the group. Hoseok stopped him from his tracks by gripping tightly on his wrist, making Hyungwon turn aggressively, glaring at the shorter as he took his hand away from the older.

 

He opened his mouth to speak, but glanced at the back to see Changkyun staring back at him, something lacing inside his orbs, and decided to keep quiet instead. One last glance at Hoseok before he stomped off. Ignoring the constant calling of his name, he ran away with the hood over his head, feeling betrayed by his own friends.

But what he didn't know was that Changkyun had been staring at his retreating figure, unable to move towards the taller boy as his feet were glued to the floor. He felt his heart drop as his eyes felt teary. Turning around, he searched his friends.

 

 

_Please come back._

 

 

 

 

Hyungwon never returned home ever since and neither went to school. Instead, he went all the way back to Gwangju to stay with his family. He received multiple missed calls and unseen texts from his two housemates, his ex and Jooheon. Forcing himself not to read any of them and ignore all the notifications. They even called his family but never gotten an answer as to Hyungwon's whereabouts from them.

He knew it was selfish of him to act this way, but never had he been feeling extremely down like this since years ago.

 

 

The sunny sky of Gwangju emitting light from the sun as it hits the people's skins. Sitting down on an empty bench. Watching couples smiling happily as they held hands made Hyungwon jealous, and he isn't afraid of admitting it.

Without knowing, he remembered about the muted boy. The eyes that he saw before he left, how his mouth fell slightly by just seeing the taller, how much Hyungwon missed him. He couldn't believe the amount of tears that came out from the lanky boy just because of someone he met months ago — someone he who was special and beautiful in so many ways. He wasn't a boy of tears, but yet he didn't know why he was crying this much.

Toddlers passing by the older man, confused as to why he was crying in the middle of the park as the sun was setting. Some called their parents who then asked him if there was anything they could help, some even stopped playing to try and cheer him up. The kindness the people were showing brought a smile up to Hyungwon's face temporarily. He only waited until they left to let out the unshed tears that were threatening to fall.

 

The sun was replaced by the moon and stars now as they glow in the night sky. The slight breeze blew calmly at the lanky boy and that was where he felt at ease. His mind was still occupied but his heart felt as if nothing was troubling him. Though, a frown still plastered on his face which he didn't even made an effort to remove it.

How he wished someone would be here to comfort him. But he felt betrayed by his own best friends for hanging out with his ex without him knowing. Hyungwon sighed, maybe it was too early to judge them and he should've stayed to hear them out. Maybe that way he won't have this huge misunderstanding.

 

 

Only maybe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i'm gonna add a few more chapters huhu and thanks for waiting this long for the update


	4. Chapter 4

 

It was 3 in the morning and Hyungwon still didn't know why was he awake. He should've been sleeping because no one can disturb him, no one dares to, but he found himself staring blankly at the ceiling. He tried closing his eyes multiple times only to open them again. He didn't know what was going on, but he felt strange.

He wanted to talk to someone after weeks. He wanted to talk to someone at 3 am. He wanted to vent out his anger and sadness, his problems and wishes. However, he has no one.

His family were better off not knowing the entire thing, he has no more friends to talk to. Maybe one, but he may be busy, so he restrain himself from calling him.

It took him minutes to finally decide to not talk to anyone, but felt the urge to try — be closer to the black haired once again. It has been too long without his presence near him and he definitely saw something laced in between the younger boy's orbs the other day. Maybe, who knows, Changkyun wanted to relive their friendship too.

With high hopes, despite knowing it may fail on him, he got up from the bed and took his notepad and laptop. He quickly switched on his laptop and waited impatiently for it to load. Once it was finally loaded, he smiled softly and typed in something he hoped to learn and understand.

 

 

 

_Sign languages._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was Monday, the first day of school after a week hiatus. Hyungwon was nervous to see his friends and to face Changkyun again, he couldn't sleep the night before. He wasn't sure if he was able to do this, but he kept telling himself that it was long enough and he should hear the others out, and apologize to Changkyun.

With his head held low, he walked in the hallway alone, covering his face with his bangs. Clenching his fist on the strap of his bag, he quickly walked without looking where he was going.

It was until he accidentally bumped into someone, making their books fall to the ground.

Hyungwon stopped in his tracks and slapped himself mentally before proceeding to pick up the books for the person, whom he refused to see who. In a fast pace, he collected all the books and passed it to the person in front of him without looking up to see who it was.

He waited impatiently for the person to take all their books again so he can quickly get out of the awkward situation. So once the person grab them, Hyungwon quickly turned around to continue his journey to his class.

Until someone grabbed his wrist.

Turning around, his eyes widen when he caught sight of the person he bumped into earlier. Lips parting slightly, he blinked multiple times to confirm he saw the right person and it wasn't just his imagination.

The brown orbs staring directly into his own, matching the same expression as the taller. Lips slightly parted, widening eyes with sadness tinted in them. The hand on the taller's wrist tighten, pulling him a little closer.

 

 

 

"Ch-Changkyun..."

 

And then the bell rang, signalling it was time to go to class. It also broke their trance, snapping them back to reality.

Hyungwon watched as Changkyun's head lowered itself, breaking their eye contact. Hyungwon thought maybe it was time to go too, but he couldn't. Changkyun didn't let go of his wrist.

"Changkyun, we have to get to class—"

With force, Hyungwon was pulled towards the younger as Changkyun walked towards the opposite way, away from all the classrooms. Hyungwon was confused, what was happening? He couldn't do anything, as much as he wanted to pull away, he couldn't.

 

He missed the younger too much to break contact.

 

 

 

 

It was the studio, the studio they always went during break. The vacant room that Hyungwon missed. The room he missed being in with Changkyun.

 

_**BANG** _

 

 

Hyungwon jumped at the sound and noticed Changkyun had threw his books to the ground before locking eyes with the taller. Hyungwon was aware that Changkyun was walking towards him slowly, he was aware that they were alone in this room, he was aware that there weren't any awkward tension here. He was aware about the look in Changkyun's eyes, he was aware the expression the younger was giving, he was aware how the younger was trembling.

He was aware, but he didn't do anything.

He waited, and waited, for things to happen. Eyes locking with the youngers', he couldn't move.

So he kept on waiting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Changkyun...?"

Hyungwon froze on his spot, widening his eyes again. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what he should do.

Changkyun was hugging him tightly, crying on his shoulder. Hyungwon's shirt was soaked with tears but that was the least of his worries at this moment. Even though he was tensed, he slowly force himself to embrace the younger and pull him even more tightly. He blinked, fighting the tears not to fall, but they went against his commands and wet his cheeks.

_Why was he crying? It's my fault._

_Why did he made the first move? I should be the one doing that._

_Why is he hugging me tightly? He deserves better._

 

 

 _Why does he not want to let me go?_ _I'm just going to break his heart again, won't I?_

_Changkyun..._

 

"I'm sorry."

 

_I'm sorry for creating this mess. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for making your life harder than it already is. I'm sorry for being such an asshole. I'm sorry for leaving just like that._

_I'm sorry for everything._

 

_But it's okay if you won't forgive me._

 

_Because I'm only a waste of time._

 

_Please let me go._

 

_Please just go._

 

_I changed my mind._

 

 

_Let's not be closer._

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Let's part ways._

 

 

 

"Changkyun, I'm sorry. I... I didn't know. I should've known. Come to think of it, it was obvious, but I was dumb. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the words I said, I swear. You deserve better, Kyun."

Hyungwon slowly pushed the younger away to lock eyes with him. He noted how teary and red Changkyun's eyes were as they bore into his own. He felt guilty, extremely guilty. He couldn't find his own voice as he watched Changkyun struggle to hold in his tears. And that was partly the reason why he decided to bring back his memory and attempt to talk in sign languages.

 _I'm sorry_ , he said.

As he watched Changkyun's eyes, he noticed how they grew bigger. His eyes moved to Hyungwon's hands, as if couldn't believed with what he just did.

"I learnt it just for you," Hyungwon said, looking away because he was embarrassed. "I know you can hear what I say and whatever, but I learnt this so I can understand you, and converse with you when there's no music around."

Changkyun felt honored, really. He felt like crying again so he jumped into Hyungwon's arms and embraced him once again.

"You had been on my mind since we parted, Kyun. I missed you so much, I really do. But don't cry, I'm not someone worth crying for."

Hyungwon felt a light punch on his chest and noticed Changkyun was looking at him, pouting. He hit Hyungwon's chest one again and shake his head. Hyungwon smiled for the first time today at how cute the younger was being. He also admired how cute Changkyun looked from his angle and swore to himself he was going to paint it when he got back home.

Hyungwon pulled Changkyun closer and without thinking, kissed him on the head. However, Changkyun didn't seem to mind and leaned even closer, if that was possible.

 

 

They enjoyed each other's warmth that they had been longing for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Look, guy, I'm sorry for ignoring your calls and—"

"Hyungwon, shut the fuck up," Kihyun spoke up. " _We_ should be the one apologizing, not you."

Hyungwon shurgged, "I know but I felt like I should too."

Minhyuk sighed. "Won, I'm on your side obviously but maybe you should give Hoseok a chance. Not to love you or be back together with you but be friends with him. He missed you and he might've moved on. Maybe he still has some feelings for you but from what he told me, he just wanted to be friends with you again, that's all."

Hyungwon only looked at the older. "That was why you guys were hanging out with him?"

"No!" Kihyun was quick to reply. "We were with Jooheon and Changkyun and we didn't know they were friends with Hoseok. Do you remember the two of them walked out of the door at the side, before you ran away? That was their studio and that was the main reason why we were there."

"Why did they bring you two to the studio without inviting me?"

Minhyuk frowned, "We wanted to include you, but we know something was up between you and Changkyun."

Hyungwon went silent, sighing. Minhyuk only looked at him and gave a quiet sigh too.

"Changkyun wanted to show us something that he had been working on," Kihyun paused, looking at Minhyuk who gave him a nod. "He composed a song for you."

Hyungwon's eyes widen in surprise as he whipped his head up to look at his same aged friends. "What?"

"Have you met him today?"

"Yes," Hyungwon replied, vividly remembering about their shared hug. "Why?"

"He didn't show you? Are you two on good terms now?"

"The song? No, but yeah we're good now."

Kihyun hummed, bumping the older's shoulder. Minhyuk, understanding the situation, cleared his throat and said, "I saw your painting of Changkyun..."

Minhyuj trailed off to see the reaction he was going to get from Hyungwon, but was surprised when he saw the latter smile.

"I showed it to Changkyun and... he loved it. He broke down into tears when he saw it. He missed you, Wonnie.

 

 

 

He loves you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Minhyuk was walking around the house as none of his friends were there — Kihyun was out with a friend whereas Hyungwon..._

 

_Hyungwon left for weeks and never returned._

 

_Minhyuk sighed at the fact that they might've lost a friend due to a misunderstanding. He frowned and made his way to his room. Changkyun was coming over in a bit to accompany him and he was more than thankful for it._

_As he reached the door to his room, he noticed that the door to Hyungwon's room was unlocked and it was opened, not entirely. Minhyuk thought maybe his friend returned after so long so he quietly walked towards the room and took a look inside._

_He was disappointed that there were no signs of his friend in the room but was met with several new paintings instead. He know he shouldn't but he couldn't help but enter the room to admire the new art pieces he had never seen before. It was until he came across a painting of... Changkyun?_

_Minhyuk has his eyes widen as he picked it up and placed it on the easel. He admired how beautiful the painting was — instead of using warm colors for the skin or normal skin tone. Instead he used purple, black and white; an unusual mix of colors. He knew black and white were his favorite color but why purple?_

_It was a picture of Changkyun smiling with his teeth showing. It was beautiful how Hyungwon emphasized on each feature, even the tiny details. As he admired the painting, he noticed the small note at the side of the canvas that said,_

 

_"How I'd wished to stay by your side and make you smile like this always. But it seems like it's always me who ended up hurting others._

_Seeing you reminded me on just how much one can love someone else._

_Black and white were used in this painting because they are my favorite colors. Hence, it is to represent that's you're my favorite person. I love to hang out with you or simply see you smile, hence the painting._

_Purple was used as it is a mix of warm and cool colors — the passionate and tranquil qualities of red and blue. It also represents creativity as it isn't a dominant color in nature — it's unique. Just like you._

_I cried when I was painting this. Why did I include this in my note? Because I want to show how much I missed you, how you had been on my mind for so long that I only found you interesting. Just you._

_I missed you, Im Changkyun. I'm sorry._

_I love you._

 

_\- Chae"_

 

_Just as Minhyuk finished reading the note, he heard a knock on the front door._

_"It's not locked!" He waited until he heard the door closed before saying, "Come to where I am right now."_

_He waited until he heard a knock on Hyungwon's door. He turned to see Changkyun admiring the room filled with paintings. Minhyuk smiled and told the younger to come closer and that was when he noticed the painting Minhyuk had been looking._

_"Hyungwon is a great artist. All of this are his artworks, including this."_

_Changkyun walked closer to take a closer look at the painting and that was when he noticed the note._

_That was also when Changkyun started tearing up as he read the note written at the side._

 

 

 

_And that was when Minhyuk knew they shared the exact same feelings towards one another._

 

 

_They love each other._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to write this chapter but i hope you enjoyed it anyway !! the story is also coming to an end soon :((( this chapter is also a pretty short one whoops


	5. Chapter 5

_"Do you like it?"_

_Hoseok hums, enjoying the warmth of Hyungwon's fingers twirling the strands of Hoseok's hair softly._

_"Like what?"_

_Hyungwon paused his fingers, eyes away from the older's face. He fought with himself before reluctantly asking, "Do you like being with me?"_

_Hyungwon noticed how the older kept quiet and thought that maybe Hoseok had been playing with him the entire two years of dating. However, he saw Hoseok slowly turning around to face the younger's face as he rests his head on his hand on top of the pillow._

_"Wonnie, what kind of question was that? Of course I like being with you, I love being with you. What's wrong?"_

_Hyungwon slowly look at the older and hold in the gaze before shaking his head, murmuring, "Nothing."_

_Hoseok frowned and placed his hands on Hyungwon's, intertwining their fingers together. "Hey, baby, if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here, okay? Now come on, let's go to sleep."_

_Hyungwon nodded his head silently as he got under the covers facing his boyfriend, Hoseok embracing him as he went to sleep. Hyungwon then heard soft snores coming from his boyfriend and sighed quietly. Hyungwon slowly raised his hand to rest his palm on the older's soft cheek, staring at the peaceful figure in front of him._

 

 

 

 

Hyungwon did not like what was going on. He was in a cafe, waiting anxiously for a certain someone. He did not asked for this meeting — his friends forced him to.

Hyungwon kept his eyes on his drink until he noticed a familiar figure sitting right across him. He raised his head slowly to finally see the boy that he thought he was in love with once — Hoseok.

 

 

 

 

"So, Hyungwon..." Hoseok trailed off, staring at the boy in front of him. Noticing how he didn't even bother to look at the older made him sigh. "Okay, I'm gonna get straight to the point.

 

I want to be friends with you again, Hyungwon. I want to know you again. And I promise I just want to stay friends with you and end things on good terms.

 

I want you and Changkyun to be happy together." And that was the line that caught Hyungwon's attention.

 

And so, Hoseok continued, "I've seen the look you two made the other day. I saw how genuine those eyes were. I saw how you calmed yourself, even just a little, when you locked eyes with him. I saw how Changkyun broke down to tears after you left. I saw how Changkyun made an entire song just for you. I noticed how upset he was after you left. I noticed the love between you two.

I once told you, your life will be as colorful as ever, and I was right. I'm sorry for being stupid and leave you just like that, thinking we're on good terms, but I'm glad you found someone better than me.

I know you hate me. I hate myself too."

Hoseok paused, looking up at Hyungwon, staring into his orbs. "I loved you, Hyungwon. I really do. You were the best thing that had happened to me. I know I said I will always stay by your side, but I failed to fulfill that wish. I felt extremely guilty for leaving you like... like _that_. I just felt as if I couldn't be the reason for your happiness in the near future. I know you deserve better, so much better. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have broke up with you, but what might've had happened if we were still together? Would you have talked more than how you do nowadays? Would you feel the need to paint depressive art? Would all these things have happened?

 

Would you have met Changkyun with the same feelings as how you met him for the first time now?

 

I constantly thought about what might have happen if we didn't break up, but I'm glad we did. You and Changkyun are like puzzle pieces. You understand him, and he understands you. He needs someone like you — someone understanding, caring and willing to adapt to his situations without hesitation. You need someone like him — positive, nice and understands people well.

 

I'm happy you met him. I'm glad he's your happiness now."

 

Hyungwon slowly turn to look at Hoseok in the eyes, not saying a word. Hoseok smiled slightly before saying, "I want to fulfill the wish — staying by your side forever. But this time, as friends. I want to always stay with you until we're old. Sincere from the heart, just friends. What do you say?"

Hyungwon took one last thought before breaking into a big smile, a smile that surprised Hoseok.

"I hope you'll find your happiness too."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life was great.

Life made a 360 turn for Hyungwon, and he loved it. He started painting happy things once again and Changkyun, for the first time, composed happy music. The two of them are a great pair, according to the others.

 

Hyungwon found himself painting a portrait of Changkyun as the younger does his assignment in Hyungwon's room. The lanky boy smile widely once he was done with the painting, staring at it for God knows how long.

Just from the painting, he remembered about all the things that happened between them. All the hardships and misunderstandings led them to love and acceptance. Hyungwon never would've thought he would found love again.

His sleeping schedule was better than ever, his mental health was curing. He became stronger, and he believed it was all because of Changkyun.

He felt so thankful to the younger boy for everything. For slowly accepting him, for forgiving him, for always being there for him, for being the person to reach out to him first.

But little did Hyungwon know, Changkyun felt the same way. If only he could talk, he would've drowned the taller boy with compliments and thank you's.

Changkyun was thankful for the lanky boy for coming up to him first, for wanting to be friends with him first, for showing him what love truly is. Changkyun never have felt happier than he is right now.

 

Changkyun noticed Hyungwon had been staring at the canvas with a ridiculously big smile for minutes. So, he quietly got up from his chair and walked up to the older only to then realize that the painting Hyungwon was staring at was a portrait of him. Changkyun felt his heart fluttered as a smile immediately formed on his face. He then quietly embraced the older from the back, which snapped him from his trance. Hyungwon felt the warmth behind him and chuckled before turning around.

The two of them stared at each other with sincerity, thankfulness and love. Their smiles mimicking each other; they were over the moon. Hyungwon then gently pulled the boy closer and embraced him in a comfortable hug.

 

"Thank you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The starry sky made the two of them gaze in awe. Changkyun was in Hyungwon's arms under the beautiful night sky in the middle of the park. They had a beautiful and sweet date today and this was a great way to end it.

Hyungwon wished time would stop so the two of the could stay there forever — enjoyong each others' presence and windy breeze under the night sky filled with stars blinking at them. They were at peace, something Hyungwon felt whenever he's with Changkyun.

 

He loved the moment.

 

 

It was time for them to, sadly, leave. The two of them slowly walked down the pathway, fingers intertwined. Today was an amazing day but unfortunately, it has to come to an end, just like any other days.

They looked to their sides to make sure there were no vehicles passing by before crossing the road. There were oddly not many vehicles seeing it was just 11pm on a Saturday.

They were at ease as they passed a few stores that were already closed, some are still opened. The streets were not full but there will be people passing by once in a while. They kept on walking in a slow pace as they looked around. Hyungwon then turn to stare at Changkyun beautiful face and smiled to himself.

 

Until they heard a few short screams from the people in front of them, followed by the sounds of the bicycle bell quickly becoming more obvious. It was then Hyungwon turn to the front to see a bike heading straight to him with an unbelievably fast pace.

 

 

 

 

But,

 

he was too late.

 

 

 

 

 

He couldn't move in time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hyungwon thought his life changed to the better. He thought there won't be anything to destroy his happiness away. He thought he would have a normal and easier life after all the things that happened.

 

He shouldn't have had high hopes.

 

He regretted thinking everything was going to be okay. He regretted thinking nothing could hurt him ever again. He regretted thinking life decided to give him another chance.

He hated his life.

He wanted to leave from this world now if he could. He did not want to go through anything anymore. He just wished he wouldn't have woke up. He just wished he wouldn't have lived.

 

But he couldn't do it.

 

He have people who loves him, people who cared for him. He have people whom he loves and cared. He has a family, friends and a lover. He has everything he could've asked for.

These people are the ones who made him stand stronger in the world. These people are the reason why he still existed now. These people are why he always had hopes that everything would turn out alright, despite doubting himself so many times. These people knew him better than himself, and he was thankful.

He was thankful for everything.

 

Especially Changkyun.

 

He was regretful. His heart clenched whenever he thought of his lover. He was always there for him. He would always smile widely whenever they were together. His eye smile made Hyungwon gaze in awe. Hyungwon felt lucky whenever he looked at Changkyun in the eyes. He knew he had everything he ever wanted.

 

Changkyun was everything he ever wanted.

 

The younger's different facial expressions and cute reactions, his different types of smiles, his dimples softly showing on his cheeks. His small pout whenever Hyungwon joking refused to do things the younger wanted. The funny gestures the boy did, the funny text messages they sent one another.

Hyungwon felt sorry for Changkyun. He couldn't do anything now. Life has it's plans for Hyungwon, and he don't know what else will happen.

 

 

Hyungwon felt the familiar warmth and touch on his hand. He didn't move a muscle and stayed on the hospital bed, layinh mercilessly. He then felt the familiar hand intertwined fingers with his own, before feeling droplets on his hand, followed by sniffling sounds.

Hyungwon felt regretful and his eyes started to water. He pursed his lips togsther to keep himself from crying and wet the bandages that were around his eyes. He felt the hand tightening itself with Hyungwon's, more tears wetting his hand. Hyungwon's heart aches just by visualizing what was happening. He hated this. He hated everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Hyungwon woke up with a huge bandage covering his eyes and head. The smell of the hospital surprised him. He swore he remembered getting hit by a bicycle, but it wouldn't have hurt that much to make him go to the hospital._

_He was about to move his hand to touch the bandage when he heard his roommate's voice and the doctor's, followed by a few sobs._

 

_"But he's okay, right?" he heard Kihyun asked._

_An unfamiliar voice replied, "Yes, he's okay, but he must stay in the hospital for a few days. The police already caught the suspect and he will be sued and jailed for bringing a deadly chemical. Just be thankful only his eyes were affected and nothing more. For now, you can keep him company until he wakes up."_

_What was going on? Hyungwon thought to himself. He was about to tell the others that he was awake until he heard a particular sentence that made his heart drop._

 

 

_"He's not permanently blind, is he?"_

 

 

 

 

 

Hyungwon removed his hand from Changkyun's and lift it up, trying to find the younger boy's face. Changkyun caught the message and held the older's hand and place it on the younger's cheek. Hyungwon felt how wet it was from the tears, and Hyungwon's heart broke to pieces.

 

 

"Changkyun... I'm sorry," Hyungwon whispered, feeling more liquid on his palm. He felt Changkyun shaking his head aggressively, asking the older to not apologize. But he didn't listen, he felt extremely guilty. He couldn't bare doing this.

"I'm so sorry," Hyungwon whispered again, his tears finally exited his eyes, wetting the bandage. "I... I hope you can still accept me like this."

Changkyun's hand tighten around Hyungwon's as more tears fell from his eyes. It was his way of replying the older. 

 

 _I will always accept you however you are, just like how you accept me the way I am_ , he thought to himself, but if only Hyungwon could hear it.

 

Hyungwon's voice trembled as he said, "I may not be able to draw portraits of you anymore, and may not be able to see your beautiful smiles again. And I may not be able to see your cute gestures and reactions, or read your cute texts again, but I still remember the last thing I saw,

 

which was you.

 

I'm happy I get to see your face one last time. I will never forget it, I promise."

Changkyun stared at his lover with tears in his eyes. He remove the older's hand from the younger's cheek and intertwined fingers again. He felt Hyungwon tightening their grip and Changkyun couldn't help but hold his head down as tears were overflowing his eyes.

"I don't know what will happen to our relationship, but I hope you will never leave me. I know it may be hard now, but I'm sure we are able to go through this together, yeah?"

Changkyun nodded his head, even though knowing Hyungwon wouldn't be able to see it. Hyungwon let out one last tear and gave a sweet and sincere smile.

 

"I love you, Changkyun. I forever will."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love.

 

It's beautiful.

 

Love happens because of communication, but it's more than just that. Love can be shown through so many ways. You don't have to say  _I love you_ to your significant other to prove to them that your feelings are genuine and sincere.

Love can be shown through small gestures such as embracing each other and holding hands. You don't have to send long messages to prove you are deeply in love with someone, you don't have to buy expensive gifts to ensure your lover knows how much you are willing to go for them.

Love is accepting each others' flaws and overcome them together. Love is being there whenever they need you. Love is a sincere feeling that will make you smile.

 

Changkyun may be mute, and Hyungwon may be blind. Changkyun may not be able to vocalized his feelings and Hyungwon may not be able to see his lover's reactions or gestures. But the two of them felt connected.

Hyungwon may have stopped painting with a heavy heart, but Changkyun will never stopped trying to get Hyungwon to hold the brush again. Changkyun always reminded him who he was whenever he felt like giving up. Changkyun also practiced painting on behalf of Hyungwon. The first few tries were horrible, but he felt himself getting better after multiple tries.

Hyungwon, despite not being able to see, decided try and play an instrument, on behalf of Changkyun. He asked the younger to teach him how to play the piano and Changkyun helped without hesitation. Soon, he became better at it and is able to differentiate the keys apart.

 

This was how they showed their love to each other.

 

The others felt sorry but have never felt happier for the couple. The two of them really are like puzzle pieces, just like what Hoseok said. Kihyun and Minhyuk invited Changkyun to stay together with Hyungwon and he accepted it without hesitation.

 

All in all, life was slowly becoming better. Hyungwon might've given up when he was in the hospital, but it was obvious that it's not over. One may have to go through such obstacles in life, and that is how they grow stronger and better themselves.

Hyungwon felt at ease as he embraced Changkyun on the bed. His hand trailed and stopped once it reached the black haired's cheek. He felt the younger smile, and Hyungwon's lips immediately curved upwards and smile widely. He slowly brought their foreheads together and stayed in that position for a few minutes.

It has been weeks since Hyungwon haven't seen his lover's face, but Changkyun's face is still visible in his head. He remembers every features in detail. So he can only imagine how the younger might have looked like right now. Hyungwon felt warmth on his hand which was on the black haired's cheek and he smiled wider.

 

Hyungwon remembered back to when they first met and what made them connected in the first place. His heart warmed when he remembered it was because of Changkyun's music, and Hyungwon paintings made Changkyun realized that the feelings are mutual.

 

Through art, they are able to stay connected, until now.

 

Through art, they are able to show their love to each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hyungwon smiled, feeling tears pricked his eyes.

 

 

 

"I love you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally!! after so long!!! the story came to an end :(
> 
> thank you so much for reading until the end ! this has to be one of my favorite piece to write and it actually took a lot of time to write this because i've had multiple writer's block and because my english isn't too good too, i also had to research some things too.
> 
> thanks for all the comments, i had fun reading them and all your opinions matter so much to me as it is one of the main reason why i kept writing this, the other was because i really enjoyed this story !!
> 
> i'm really sad the story has to end right here bc i wish to write more but i planned this story to be a short story so here it is.
> 
> thank you all again for your support and i'll continue writing more pieces like this in the near future!
> 
> sorry for the veeeeery long wait for the ending :(


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